Lesson One - How to stop sabotaging your own success
Updated: Aug 30
First of all, I know gratitude and the Law of Attraction for some of you will sound a little airy fairy and seem like it has nothing at all to do with writing, but just stick with me because soon it will all make sense...
Remember The Secret? It was based on The Law of Attraction, which actually has scientific merit and origins that began with the Greek philosopher Plato who described the phenomenon as ‘likes tend toward likes’.
Wait - I'm not telling you to manifest your completed book, there's a little more to it than that...
So what does gratitude and the Law of Attraction have to do with you becoming a published author?
In a moment you're going to learn how these ideas, when used correctly, are scientifically proven to help you to take action writing your book.
How awesome is that?
But first of all, let me ask you about headaches - not because they can be a pain when we want to write, but as an example to show you what I mean about the Law of Attraction and how it can help you finish your book.
Think about the last time you had an annoying headache. Not a migraine or anything severe, just a pain that was enough to be a pest.
Sometimes when I have these I sit and think to myself, ‘Geez this headache is really killing me’, or ‘Maybe now I don’t have to go to that meeting since I actually do have a headache it wouldn’t be a total lie to say I’m sick’ - and suddenly the pain seems to grow a lot worse.
Or think of it the other way….
Have you ever had that same kind of headache and then suddenly the phone rings and your friend has tickets to your absolute favourite band or someone you love has a major emergency and needs your help right away?
Suddenly you forget all about the headache, right?
According to award-winning author and CEO of NeuroBusiness Group Dr Srinivasan Pillay, that's because the part of our brain that creates intention is connected to the region of our brain involved with action.
So what has all this brain activity got to do with a headache?
It means that when you place your attention or focus (intention) on a certain feeling (your headache), that focus can actually worsen (action) the pain.
Put simply, there is scientific proof that if we focus on something it increases the impact of whatever it is we are focusing on...
Put simply, there is scientific proof that if we focus on something, it increases the impact of whatever it is we are focusing on...
Alternatively, when we move our attention away from the pain it decreases.
Let me explain it another way.
Have you ever noticed that when we focus our eyes intently on one thing, slowly everything in our peripheral falls away.
It's kinda like that.
Whatever we focus on, we amplify.
Seems obvious, right?
But that is the difference between the ideology of the Law of Attraction found in The Secret and what I want to teach you in this course is that The Secret states that by focusing on what you want your subconscious will send vibrations out into the universe where your desired outcome will be manifested for you via the Law of Attraction.
Meaning, if you focus on visualising cheques in the mail, you will start receiving cheques in the mail because your subconscious and the Law of Attraction work together to create the world you visualise.
In this part of the course, what I'm teaching you instead is that whatever you focus on your brain will translate into a priority, which will than affect your decision making, and your decision-making will show up in your actions.
In other words, instead of hoping the universe magically manifest the outcomes we want, we're going to use science to create them for ourselves.
It's not about manifesting something via the Universe, it's about using the Law of Attraction to focus on what we want and triggering our brain to provide extra focus on finding ways to problem solve or find ways to achieve a goal.
I'll give you another example. Ever considered buying a new car? Once you choose the model you want do suddenly start seeing them everywhere? That's not the universe, that's your brain putting additional attention on what you are most focused on.
It's kinda like re-marketing. When you click on a Facebook or Google ad you are suddenly bombarded with scrolling ads that a similar - it's almost like a 21st Century version of Plato's ‘likes tend toward likes’ theory, only instead of your brain it's created by a digital algorithm. The idea is the same though. You intensify what you focus on - in your mind, in your life, and in your Facebook feed.
So scientifically, it could play out like this:
Do you get what I’m saying?
Alternatively, if you actively choose to focus your attention on something positive that serves you, the Law of Attraction can instead work like this:
What we focus on we amplify - we feel what we think about most - and we act based on how we feel.
So if we focus on negativity and fear, we will act accordingly and make decisions that continue to keep those beliefs showing up to convince us we were right.
And it becomes a vicious circle. Does that make sense?
If we focus on negativity and fear, we will act accordingly and unintentionally make decisions that continue to keep those beliefs showing up to convince us we were right. And it becomes a vicious circle...
Now I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound like a successful blueprint for chasing after our goals and dreams, right?
Of course not, but what are we supposed to do when we want something so bad and feel so scared it won’t happen, or that we'll fail, or that it’s all just too hard, and on top of that, everything around seems to support that fear?
The thing is, when we think like that we are actually putting all of our focus on our worst fears - that we'll never get the thing we desire most.
In other words - we are focusing on scarcity, of missing out on out dreams.
That means we are amplifying our focus on what we don't want and actually acting to make it happen!
So what do we do? It's not possible to just change how your brain works...
You sure can and it’s not as hard as you might think.
You can start by simply being consciously grateful for what you already have.
Now I know this sounds weird and far removed from writing, but feeling gratitude is the opposite of feeling scarcity - and the last thing we want to do is to focus our energy on the thing we don't want because we now know how dangerous that can be.
In fact, the moment we replace scarcity with gratitude, the entire dynamic shifts and we can begin creating a blueprint that serves us instead of holding us back, not because the universe will magically manifest a Ferrari in our drive-way, but because our subconscious will start to view opportunities through gratitude instead of fear.
We will act accordingly and stop making decisions based on fear, insecurity, and scarcity.
We will make decisions based on what we actually want and consciously and subconscious start acting on it.
So, how exactly do we do this?
Depending on where you see yourself on the scale of 1 to 10, 1 being something like ‘I know I have a lot to be grateful for’ and 10 being ‘My life is so shit right I literally have nothing to be grateful for’, implementing the following exercises might be a breeze or could be your first challenge to face.
But regardless of where you see yourself on the scale, don’t worry because you’ve got this and I’m here to help.
We’ve learned that whatever we focus on we amplify, so by using the Law of Attraction and focusing on something positive rather than on a sense of scarcity and/or fear of failure we can ensure our decisions and behaviours are always working toward achieving our goals.
And what do we want to focus on?
By using gratitude to harness the Law of Attraction,that sense of scarcity and the fear that we'll never achieve our goals will be replaced by an amplified sense of gratitude.
Our decision making and behaviour will then be set up to identify and act on opportunities that are in-line with our goals, rather than being so caught up in negativity and fear that we either miss opportunities because we're too preoccupied to see them, or too scared and insecure to believe they would ever work for you.
Put simply, while we’re actively focused on being grateful it is impossible to experience scarcity, fear, or insecurity.
Bringing gratitude into your life
So, now that you know how gratitude and the Law of Attraction works and why it’s so important to use them as we work toward achieving our goals, it’s time to learn how to make them part of our everyday life.
1. Print out Page One of your Workbook and make a list of everything in your life that you could feel grateful for, that does not relate to writing - Just write everything that comes to mind.
2. Print out Page 2 of your Workbook and make a list of things related to writing that you are grateful for. This can include things like knowing what you want to write about, having support, having a place to write, already being part of the way to realising your goals - whatever feels appropriate for you. This will help you focus on the positives rather than any negatives.
3. Choose one day of the week and mark it in your calendar as Gratitude Day. On this day each week send an email, text, card, or other communication to one person you are grateful to have in your life. You can choose to send it anonymously or via a method that lets the person know who you are. This will allow you to realise there are people in your life who make you feel good and help decrease the impact of those who do not support you. You can be grateful to people for anything at all - writing related or not. The main thing is to remind yourself there are people in your life that build you up, inspire you, and value you enough to behave in a way that makes you feel grateful. This helps with your self-esteem, and will also make the other person feel valued as well.
4. Print out Page 3 of your Workbook and at the end of each day, write down three things that happened or that you became aware of that you feel grateful for. When you come across days that make you feel down or want to give up, this will help to re-establish your connection with gratitude, and help diffuse your focus on negativity, scarcity and/or fear.
If you want to do all the exercises that I did throughout my journey, I highly encourage you to also carry out a spring-clean style overhaul of your home, car, and closet, before we move on to the next lesson.
I know it’s not everyone’s idea of a good time but trust me, if you want the full experience, take the time to do this.
Because aside from work, our home, and car are where we spend the most time. Our closet, depending on how pro-active you are with cleaning it, can also become a place we spend a lot of time standing in front of and staring. These are important spaces in our lives that represent our safe place, our transport, and our appearance. They matter and when they make us feel guilty or embarrassed for not tidying them up, frustrated that they are messy, or annoyed things are lost in them, we cannot possibly feel grateful. It also provides us a sense of control over our lives.
You can download Pages 1, 2 & 3 of your print-friendly Workbook below: